Greetings fellow partners, allies, survivors, and friends!
The following list represents a compilation of resources available for partners and allies of incest, rape, and sexual abuse survivors which lists books, newsletters, Internet Resources, World Wide Web sites, and E-Mail digests. This compilation is a result of my own personal search for knowledge and support as a former partner of an incest survivor. Please feel free to make copies of this list and to distribute this list widely to your friends, fellow survivors, partners, allies, and other helping professionals who you feel might benefit from the resources outlined on this list. Regular updates of this list will be made available to the abpart-l monitoring representative as new materials become available for the partner/ally community on an increasingly frequent basis.
If you have heard of any resource which you feel might/should be added to this list, please e-mail this list's author at the e-mail address below.
Last Additions and Corrections by Woody (barnicle@email.com) September 1999
Original document posted at http://www.idealist.com/wounded_healer/allies.html
Partners And Allies of Sexual Assault Survivors Resources List
Barshinger, Clarke E. & Larowe, Lojan E. (1995). Haunted Marriage; Overcoming the Ghosts of Your Spouse's Childhood Abuse. Intervarsity Press, USA.
- Another Christian-centered book for partners, recommended to me
by a partner.
- Has appendix for partners.
- Has an appendix/chapter for partners of survivors.
- Chapter Five: "For Lovers and Others." Excellent chapter as
an introduction for partners who have just discovered their partner is
a survivor.
Blume,
E. Sue. (1990). Secret
Survivors: Uncovering Incest & Its Aftereffects in Women. New York:
Ballantine Books, Inc. Available at self-help sections in bookstores nationwide.
- Has a chapter on relationship issues between partners and survivors.
Brooke, Stephanie L. (1997). Art
Therapy with Sexual Abuse Survivors. Charles C Thomas Publisher,
Limited. Paperback, 188 pp. ISBN: 0398068062
Cameron, Grant. (1995). What about me? A Guide for Men Helping Female Partners Deal with Childhood Sexual Abuse. Carp, Ontario, Canada: Creative Bound Publishers, Inc.
- New! See Grant Cameron's web site for more information and for the
introduction to his book as well as ordering information. Visit http://www.home.istar.ca/~gcameron/ABUSE.HTM.
Courtright, John, & Rogers, Sid, Dr. (1994). Your
Wife Was Sexually Abused. (With discussion guide.) Grand Rapids, MI:
Zondervan Publishing House.
- A Christian-centered book for partners -- available at most Christian
bookstores nationwide.
DeBeixedon, Yvette S. (1995). Lovers
& Survivors: A Partner's Guide to Living with & Loving a Sexual
Abuse Survivor.. San Francisco, CA: Robert D. Reed Publishers. Available
at self-help sections in bookstores nationwide.
Deblinger, Esther & Heflin, Anne Hope. (1996). Treating
Sexually Abused Children and Their Non offending Parents : A Cognitive
Behavioral Approach (Interpersonal Violence, V. 16.). Sage Pubns;
ISBN: 080395929X
Booknews, Inc. , December 1, 1996Driscoll, Frances. (1997). The Rape Poems. Pleasure Boat Studio; ISBN: 0965141314. 80 pages.
Offers psychiatrists and pediatricians a theory-based and empirically driven model that is straightforward to apply, simple to explain to families, and the outcomes of which are measurable for the increasing demands of health care organizations. Explains the general features of the model, initiating therapy, the therapeutic components of intervention with both children and parents, and joint parent-child sessions. Includes many case studies.
- A narrative sequence exploring the experience of rape and of its
aftermath. The final poem in the collection Island Of The Raped Women won
a 95 Pushcart and eight other poems are Pushcart nominees. The book came
out March 97 and is being taught this year at a number of schools in women's
studies, sociology, and freshman composition classes and in undergraduate
and graduate poetry workeshops. It is also being used by rape centers and
in a couple of police officer training programs.
At a time when horror stories of childhood sexual abuse are revealed daily, there is still insufficient help for the abused. This problem is finally being dealt with in Beverly Engel's excellent book, The Right to Innocence. This is a recovery guide, a seven-step program that enables victims to heal the damage such experiences inflict.
- Has appendix, "To the Mates and Loved Ones of Survivors."
- Excellent introductory book for partners who have just discovered their
partner is a survivor.
Estrada, Hank. Recovery
for Male Victims of Child Abuse. Red Rabbit Press, 356 W.Zia
Rd., Santa Fe, NM 87505. ISBN: 9992059346
Evans, Patricia. (1996). The
Verbally Abusive Relationship. Paperback, 221 pages. Adams Media
Corporation; ISBN: 1558505822. This book has nothing to do with
sexual abuse, but is about verbal abuse and is written from the perspective
as the male being the verbal abuser. This is a whole different issue then
what we are dealing with as far as partner/survivor issues. But abuse is
abuse so there are many similarities that can help the abused see and understand
what is going on. Here are 4 questions from the back of the
book:
1) Does your partner seem irritated or angry
at you several times a week although you hadn't meant to upset her?
2) Does she deny being angry when she clearly
is?
3) Do your attempts to discuss feeling of pain
or emotional distress leave you with the feeling that the issue has not
been resolved?
4) Do you frequently feel perplexed and frustrated
by her responses, as though you were each speaking a different language?
The back of the book says that if you answer yes to just one of
the 4 above then you should read the book.
Foote, Catherine J. (1994). Survivor
Prayers: Talking with God about Childhood Sexual Abuse.
Westminster John Knox Press. Paperback, 96 pp. ISBN: 0664254357
This book contains brief, moving testimony of the author's own recovery from sexual abuse and her ever-continuing journey toward healing, intimacy, and God. The heart of the book is a series of prayer-poems in which Foote, who is also a minister to adolescents and their families, shares with God and the reader her pain, her spiritual struggles, her difficulties with self-image and with God-image, and her learning to feel and want healing not only for herself but also for a child molester. Her book is highly recommended for victims, their families and friends, and those who counsel them--as well as abusers trying to reform.
Gangi, Barbara, Fredda Bruckner-Gordon, and
Gerry Wallman. Making
Therapy Work. New York: Harper & Row, 1988. Out of Print
Gil, Eliana. (1992). Outgrowing
the Pain Together: A Book for Spouses & Partners of Adults Abused as
Children. New York: Dell Trade Publishing, Inc.
For a person who has been a victim of child abuse of any nature,
forming and maintaining adult relationships can be difficult, if not impossible.
Past hurts and long-term damage can sabotage the most precious of relationships.
Now Dr. Gil offers hope and help to those who care about an adult survivor
of childhood abuse.
Graber, Ken. (1991). Ghosts
in the Bedroom; A Guide for Partners of Incest Survivors. Deerfield
Beach, FL: Health Communications.
Gust, Jean and Patricia Sweeting. Recovering
from Sexual Abuse and Incest: A Twelve Step Guide. Mills
and Sanderson, Publishers. 41 North Road Suite 201, Bedford, MA
01730. $9.95 plus $1.50 S/H (Amazon
says "Out of Print")
Hansen, Paul. Survivors
and Partners: Healing the Relationships of Adult Survivors of Child Sexual
Abuse. ISBN: 0962996041
Haines, Staci. (1999). The
Survivor's Guide to Great Sex : How to Have a Great Sex Life - Even if
You've Been Sexually Abused. Cleis Press. Paperback, 1st ed., 200pp.
ISBN: 1573440795
Based on the author's extensive training and experience in working with abuse survivors, The Survivor's Guide to Sex offers an affirming, sex-positive approach to recovery from incest and rape. While most books on the topic broach sexuality only to reassure women that it is all right to say "no" to unwanted sex, this one encourages women to learn how to say "yes" to their own desires and on their own terms. Points of discussion include problems common to women survivors. Haines teaches survivors to embrace their own sexual choices and preferences, learn about their own sexual response cycles, and heal through masturbation, sexual fantasy, and play. The Survivor's Guide to Sex includes resources, bibliography, and an index.Heggen, Carolyn Holderread. (1993). Sexual Abuse in Christian Homes and Churches.
Herald Press. Paperback, 208 pp. ISBN: 0836136241
What sets this book apart from the many others on the topic is the emphasis on how a church congregation can begin to work to heal the wounds of sexual abuse and prevent further abuses from happening. Church members often must, at the same time, offer love, understanding, and healing to survivors while confronting (and still loving) the perpetrator.Heitritter, Lynn. (1989). Helping Victims of Sexual Abuse : A Sensitive, Biblical Guide for Counselors, Victims and Families. Bethany House. Paperback - 272 pages. ISBN: 0871239302
This book responds to the recognized need to give the Church information about sexual abuse. It is a sensitive, biblical guide for counselors, victims, and their families.Hunter, Mic. Thomas, Jane R., ed. (1992). Joyous Sexuality: Healing from the Effects of Family Sexual Dysfunction. Hazelden Foundation. Paperback, 143 pp. ISBN: 0896382710
This book was written for those raised in families that were negative about sex, overvalued sex, or were sexually shut down. Dr. Hunter describes ten characteristics of these families and how adult relationship are negatively affected by these early experiences. More importantly he discusses practical methods for making meaningful changes to improve the reader's sexuality and intimacy skills. The focus is on obtaining healthy sexuality and reducing shame and fear related to sex and relationships.
Dr. Hunter is licensed as psychologist, a marriage and family therapist, and as an alcohol and drug counselor. He travels throughout North America presenting workshops on healthy sexuality and other topics.
Johnson, Scott. Man
to Man. When Your Partner says NO - Pressured Sex and Date Rape.
Safe Society Press. ISBN: 1884444318
Katz, Judy H. No
Fairy Godmothers, No Magic Wands: The Healing Process after Rape.
Calif.: R & E Publishers. 1984. ISBN: 0882479903.
Kirschner, Sam, Ph.D. et al. (1993). Working
With Adult Incest Survivors/the Healing Journey (Frontiers in
Couples and Family Therapy, No 6). Brunner/Mazel; Hardcover - 232 pages
ISBN: 0876306911
Booknews, Inc. , May 1, 1993: Presents therapists with a multidimensional approach for treating the individual, marital, and family problems associated with incest. Called Comprehensive Family Therapy, the method combines elements of cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, and family treatment approaches; and outlines six stages of individual treatment, and a seventh for patients in committed relationshipsLandry, Dorothy. Family Fallout: A Handbook for Families of Adult Sexual Abuse Survivors. Safer Society Press: Orwell, VT. 1991. $12.95 paper. ISBN: 1884444059.
Levine, Robert Larry. (1996). When
You Are the Partner of a Rape or Incest Survivor: A Workbook for You.
San Jose, CA: Resource Publications.
ISBN: 0893903299
- For non-internet ordering information, contact (408)-286-8505,
or
write to Resource Publications, Inc., 160 E. Virginia Street #290 -
MK, San Jose, CA 95112-5876.
Foreword by Ellen Bass / Paperback. ISBN: 0060973005.
Loulan, JoAnn. (1987). Lesbian
Passion: Loving ourselves and each other. San Francisco, CA: Spinsters/Aunt
Lute Publishers. Available at self-help sections in bookstores nationwide.
:
- Has chapter for survivors, and chapter for partners. Good for all
partners to read despite sexual orientation.
- Ch. 10: Survivors and Partners Working Together. Very good book
along the lines of THE SEXUAL HEALING JOURNEY.
- In this compassionate, accessible, and comprehensive book, Maltz
takes survivors step-by-step through one of the most challenging aspects
of their recovery from sexual abuse. Based on Maltz's clinical work, this
book includes groundbreaking exercises and techniques for survivors to
work on alone or with their partners. Has two chapters on relationship
issues, plus safe touching exercises for partners and survivors.
McEvoy, A. and J. Brookings. If
She is Raped: A Book for Husbands, Fathers and Male Friends.
Florida: Learning Publications, Inc. 1984. ASIN: 0918452554 This title
is out of print
Mease, Bill. How
Can I Help Him? : A Handbook For Partners of Men Sexually Abused as Children.
ASIN: 0894868446 This title is out of print.
Orleman, Jane. (1998). Telling
Secrets: An Artist's Journey through Childhood Trauma.
Child Welfare League Of America, Inc. Hardcover, 144 pp. ISBN: 0878687297
Telling Secrets presents the art and dreams of the author as means to identify and examine symbols of her abuse and to establish a method for aiding the healing process of victims of such trauma. The powerful color plates in Telling Secrets--103 in all--combined with dream descriptions and insights in the accompanying text, are an effective starting point for caregivers who want to understand the overwhelming effects of childhood abuse. Survivors, therapists, therapy groups, judges, lawyers, law enforcement officers, sex offenders, teachers, and students, among others, will benefit from Ms. Orleman's shared journey toward confronting her deepest fears.The Safer Society Program & Press, P.O. Box 340, Brandon, VT 05733 (802) 247-3132. National referrals and literature available for victim and offender populations. Send for a publications list. Book: Adults Molested as Children. A survivors manual for women and men. Free to victims. Write, explain, they will send the book.
Spear, Joan. How Can I Help Her? A Handbook for Partners of Women Sexually Abused as Children. Center City, MN: Hazelden Education Materials, 1991. (612) 257-4010. Booklet for $3.00.
Stark, Kathe. (1993). Helping
the Adult Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse; For Friends, Family and Lovers.
Mother Courage Press.
W., Nancy. (1990's). Embracing the Journey. MN: Hazleden Publications.
Daily affirmation book for survivors, helpful for partners with secondary post-traumatic stress.Stutman, Suzanne. (1996). Broken Feather: A Journey to Healing Suzanne Stutman (Hardcover.)
- "I am an incest survivor who has written a book about my recovered
memory entitled Broken Feather: A Journey to Healing. I am doing advocacy
work for groups such as Care House, Friends of the Children (I'm on the
Board) SCAN, The Children's Advocacy Center in Philadelphia. I do readings
and talks and donate most of the proceeds from the sale of my book to these
organizations. If you know of anyone who may need a speaker like me, please
let me know.
(P.S.) My book is in poetry and prose. I am a Professor of English, American Studies and Women's Studies at Penn State University."
Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs. Partners in Healing: A Handbook for Partners of Rape Survivors. Washington: 1992.
Westerlund, Elaine. Responding to Incest: In Memory of Nancy. Cincinnati: Forward Movement Publications. 1988.
Westerlund, E. Incest: What to think, what to say, what to do. 1989. (Available from Incest Resources, Inc. 46 Pleasant St. Cambridge, MA 02139)
Westerlund, E. Women's
Sexuality after Childhood Incest. New York: W.W. Norton, 1992.
ISBN: 0393701417. Temporarily Out of Stock
Woititz, Janet G. (1993). The
Intimacy Struggle; A New Version of the Struggle for Intimacy. Revised
Edition. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc.
- Has section on the aftereffects of incest on intimate relationships,
pp. 61-65.
- An introductory book for partners dealing with steps to take in
easing the process along, the role of SIA in healing, the aftereffects
of incest upon the relationship, sex difficulties, and future plans/ideas
of post-recovery life. Excellent beginner's material. Available from the
SIA World Service Office, P.O. Box 21817, Baltimore, MD, 21222-6817.
"Emotional Concerns and Treatment of Male Partners of Female Sexual Abuse Survivors," by Susan Chauncey published in Social Work, Vol. 39, #6, Nov. 1994, pages 669-676.
"Using the Couple Relationship to Address Childhood Sexual Abuse," by Marcia M Hughes, published intake Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, April 1994, Vol. 2, pages 114121.
"Living with a Female Sexual Abuse Survivor: Male partner's perspectives" by Brenda Bacon and Laura Lein, published in the Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, Vol. 5 p. 1-16, 1996.
"The Effects of Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse on Marital Relationships," by Eric McCollum, published in the Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 1993, Vol. 4, pages 35-46.
"Partners of Survivors: Saying (and Hearing) I Love You," by Robert Staten,. Changing Men. Winter/Spring 1993. Issue #25. pp. 46,47
"The Other Victims of Incest: Partners of Incest Victims Suffer, Too."
Graber, Ken. Changes. May/June 1991, pp. 48-50.
Dietz, Allen, & Button, Betty. (1991). The Challenges of Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse in Adult Relationships. In Treating Abuse Today, vol. 1, No. 4. pp. 26-31.
- Good article detailing the confrontation process and the partner's
role in helping the survivor deal with it.
Survivors
& Friends: A quarterly newsletter for survivors of sexual abuse
and their friends and loved ones.
In Search of Healing.
No longer published, but old issues have good articles plus Green Resources directory with loads of information for partners and survivors, plus addresses special needs survivors and indirectly their partners. Back issues helpful for information purposes. Can be ordered from:
In Search of Healing
P.O. Box 30702
Albuquerque, NM 87190
(505)-880-8683
The Healing Woman
Update! P.O. Box 1210
Sutter Creek, CA 95685
Tel: (408)-246-1788
Fax: (408)-247-4309
E-mail HealingW@aol.com
Has changed from 12 page monthly to 24 page bi-monthly, still $30/year,
For survivors mostly but I have heard that this is good and that there
are occasional articles which are good for partners to read. Cost: $6 single
issue, $30/yr. (6, 24-page issues). Low-income rates available.
"Moving Forward". A newsletter for survivors of childhood sexual abuse and those who care for them. P.O. Box 4426, Arlington, VA 22204.
"SHARE". P.O. Box 88722, Tukwila, WA 98138. This is for partners, friends, and family of "Multiples".
"S.O.A.R. (Survivors of Abusive Rituals)". Lynn L. Cornelius, R.N., Editor. P.O. Box 1776. Cahokia, IL 62206. Newsletter for adult survivors of ritualistic child abuse.
"Stand Fast". P.O. Box 9107 Conimicut Station. Warwick, RI 02889. Newsletter for partners/significant others of survivors. (401) 737-7505
"Surviving Spirit", P.O. Box 547, Concord, NH. Newsletter of the NH Incest Center (for survivors).
"Wingspan". P.O. Box 1491. Manchester by the Sea, MA 01944.
Men's newsletter.
Self-Help/Support Groups
"Partners Affirming and Loving Survivors (PALS)". Support group for partners in CA. They have monthly meetings. Call Stand Fast for specific info for contact."Partners in Healing" group for partners of victims of sexual assault in Yakima, WA. Facilitators: Kristin Littel, and Joe Desmond. Phone (509) 575-3456 Possible mailing address: Access, P.O. Box 959, Yakima, WA 98907
"Pro-Survivors Anonymous (PSA)". Support group for partners and significant others of survivors of incest. Located in Warwick, RI. Contact: Stand Fast newsletter (401) 737-7505.
"Safe Net". c/o Callas. 105 Highbury Elgin, IL 60120. Self-help group for partners. (not sure this is current?)
"Survivors of Incest Anonymous". National. 200 groups. Founded 1982. International self-help 12-step program for men and women 18 yrs or older who have been victims of child sexual abuse and want to become survivors. Write: P.O. Box 21817, Baltimore, MD 21222-6817. (301) 282-3400.
"Working in the VINEYARD". Support group for Partners of Survivors
of Sexual Abuse. Contact: Kern Stafford, P.O. Box 3475, Teta
Cay, SC 29715. Phone: (803) 548-7151
Therapy Groups
Erikson, Bob. Facilitator of male therapy group in Worcester,
MA. 78 Burncoat St. Worcester, MA 01605 (508) 853-2255
Gateway Counseling Services. "Partners of Survivors of Sexual Abuse". Framingham, MA. (508) 879-7908. Three sessions for $60.
Hill, Deborah (LICSW) "Women Helping Women", Mass General Hospital. Fruit St. Boston, MA 02114 (617) 726-2623 Leads groups for partners of survivors.
Krieger, Jerry (LICSW). Facilitator of "Partner" therapy groups
in Worcester, MA. P.O. Box 115 West Side Station,
Worcester, MA 01602 (508) 752-7670.
Mitler, Marcie (M.Ed.) "Partners of Survivors of Sexual Abuse: an evening gathering". Cambridge, MA. Group for partners, not ongoing. (617) 497-5283.
John Young- facilitator. "Partners of Incest Survivors: A Group
for the Male Partner". Austin, TX. (512) 467-8632. $15/session
Music
Munsey, Cathy. NO MORE! Songs of Healing. Available on cassette. Send $12.00 (includes postage) to Heart Wings, P.O. Box 2161, Waterville, ME 04901.Small, Fred. I will Stand Fast. Title song is the theme song for
partners everywhere. Available on record, cassette and CD. (Ask for
Flying Fish #491). To order, write to Roundup Records, 1 Camp St,
Cambridge, MA 02140, or call (800) 44-DISCS. Catalog is $2.00
Films
MTI Social Services and Health Catalogue. MTI Teleprograms, Inc. 4825 N. Scott St. Suite 23. Schiller Park, IL 60176. (800) 323-1900 or (800) 323-5343.Incest Resources, Inc. 46 Pleasant St. Cambridge, MA
02139
Internet Resources:
Web Boards:Allies Hosted by The Wounded Healer Journal: Follow the "preferences" link to view older messages.
Abuse Recovery UK's Partners of Survivors Forum of Abuse Recovery UK also has an active partner's forum. There is a partner's page accessable through the main page of the site, but the site is about to be resturctured, so the permanent link to the partner's area will change, but will always be accessable through the main page.
Supporting Strength Forum at the HealingHopes--Together in Healing site
The partner area at Abuse Recovery & Support for Survivors & Friends of Sexual Abuse has a fair amount of traffic. This is one of my favorite places to post.
POSitive Partners of Survivors Hello and Welcome :) You have come here probably because you have someone you love that has been sexually abused in some way. Whether it be a spouse, sister, brother, neighbor or a close friend you care enough to want to under-stand them and help them or YOU yourself need support on how to handle those times when you are just lost in the midst of it all. Here you will find others that are struggling as well, trying to understand and deal with confusion of not knowing what to do or their loved one. This is another favorite spot of mine.
Usenet Groups:
![[+]](newsgrp.gif)
alt.support.abuse-partners
alt.support(general)
alt.sexual.abuse.recovery
alt.support.dissociation
alt.sexual.abuse.recovery.d
alt.support.trauma-ptsd
Internet Sites:
The Wounded Healer Journal (which hosts this page) - Linda Chapman, MSW's site for professionals, survivors, allies.Abuse Recovery & Support for Survivors & Friends of Sexual Abuse
False Memory Syndrome Facts: Perhaps you have heard survivors' memories called into question. Get accurate, empowering information here.
Loved Ones of Survivors of Abuse Webring Home Page: Starting page for a group of individual's sites dedicated to partner/SO/survivor issues.
Ike White's Healing Poetry: A page of healing poetry which gives partners some ideas on how to gently support the survivor during healing. Also affirming for survivors.
InsideOut: Michelle Wolverton's site. Includes a growing section for partners.
Kerry Cater's page: Partners and Friends of Incest Survivors Anonymous
NEEDID: A Network to Explore and Express Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and other trauma related Dissociative Disorders. Has a section for concered others.
Parents/Loved Ones
of Sexual Abuse/Rape Victims. New!
A unique page of support in various forms for parents and loved ones
of sexual abuse survivors.
Keith Piskur's Home Page- We all need some support Personal reflectoin on being a partner of an incest survivor
Resources For Working With Persons With Dissociative Identity Disorder or Other Dissociative Disorders Dr. Coons is Professor of Psychiatry at Indiana University School of Medicine and Attending Physician in Psychiatry at Indiana University Hospital, in Indianapolis, Indiana. He is boarded in General Psychiatry by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.
Sexual
Assault Crisis Center, Knoxville, TN Sexual
Assault Information Page
VOICES in Action
SURVIVORS SWINDON We provide support to adult male Survivors of child sexual abuse and adult sexual assaults. Based in the U.K., phone numbers and postal contacts on the website, plus links to a lot of resources.
The Sanctuary MUD (Telnet) Has a room in the "Community Center" supposedly for SO's (Significant Others) though most of the regulars are survivors looking for support in their own relationships. This is more of a room for survivors to approach issues with their SO's than for SO to get support. First time users check this out.
Sites dealing with or about multiplicity/MPD/DID:
If you love someone,
set them free... Life
as a Multiple I
Am Not A Victim -- I Am A Survivor
The Crew
Clan MosaicMinds
Interactive Community Forums -- Down Town
Our
Cool Plan for Staying Safe
Prism Pro
main page
Psychological Self Help On-line book covering a range of self-help issues.
Secondary
Circle is a low-volume mailing list for supporters of sexual abuse
and rape victims or survivors, housed at bi.org,
which serves the bisexual community.
Sidrian Foundation Online A national non-profit organization devoted to education, advocacy and research related to the early recognition and treatment of trauma-related stress in children and the understanding and treatment of adults suffering from trauma-generated disorders
The Significant Other's Guide to Dissociative Identity Disorder by Jeff Vineburg
America OnLine has a partners of survivor bulletin board but you MUST be an AOL subscriber. Compuserve also has one. If someone knows the keywords for these forums, please let me know so I can post them here.
More Than Survival (MTS). A weekly digest of postings from survivors,
their allies, and their partners. Like a 12 step group online. VERY helpful.
Use spoilers if you discuss anything graphic in nature.
To subscribe, send a letter to the moderator, Jeff Brooks, at JEFF@wvnvm.wvnet.edu,
state that you're a partner of an incest survivor, and you'd like to subscribe
to MTS. He should send you all the info you need to subscribe.
Understanding the Survivor of Rape. This discussion will mainly focus on the survivors of acquaintance rape and the implications for therapists treating these women.
WeRMany. We offer support for survivors
and supporters including chat, email support groups, and 10 interactive
message boards. WeRMany began in September 1997 as a series of chat Rooms
on DALnet. This page and these chat rooms are focused on the support
of people living with multiple personality/dissociative identity disorder
(MPD/DID), bipolar disorder, abuse recovery and other mental health issues.
E-Mail Lists
The ABPART-L List. This is an e-mail list, available in both digest and post-by-post format, which is unmoderated although monitored. The group is open for partners of abuse survivors and is co-ed. For further information (which will include a charter for you to sign from the monitoring representative, simply stating that you understand the group's purpose and rules for posting), visit http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/abpart-l.html or send a note to listserv@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU leaving the subject line blank and putting the line"subscribe ABPART-L" in the body of your message.
The sosupport list on ONElist.com: This "SO List" or Significant Other list is maintained as a resource for the support of those persons who are in an interpersonal relationship with someone who has been diagnosed as DID Dissociative Identity Disorder or MPD Multiple Personality Disorder. The purpose of the list is to provide a forum for the subscriber to ask questions, voice concerns, and to offer encouragement and share experiences with others in response to their "posting" to the group while traveling this precarious journey toward healing for the abuse survivor. Discussions include topics ranging from mental health concerns, IE: medication, integration, and co-consciousness to individual relational difficulties and triumphs in the participants everyday lives. This is a group for the support of the supporter. If you are someone who is facing this challenge, you need not try to face it alone. snuffy (facilitator) Email: snuffy@psnw.com To subscribe, write sosupport-subscribe@onelist.com
IRC Chat
#partners on idealist.com, port 6667 (The Wounded Healer Journal). There is web based chat access for this channel for anyone new to chat or without an IRC client. Meets regularly on Tuesday and Thursday evenings (US) at 9:30 EST. Several people also drop by anytime to chat.dal.net, which has a MPD support channel...#divided.
Supporters/allies: #windbeneaththeirwings
Allies and Partners Support
Conference http://incestabuse.about.com/
Wednesdays, 9:00 Eastern; Chat Room 2. (password available by
email through the same site)
Other Resources
Button and Dietz, Inc. P.O. Box 19243, Austin, TX 78760-9243. (512) 444-9822. Conducts seminars and provides resources for survivors, partners, and professionals. Has great Survivor Resource List and a Survivor Reading List.Center for Sexual Abuse Counseling. (Partner workshops, Couples weekend retreat, Lesbian and Bisexual Women Partners Support Group). Somerville, MA. (617) 628-3638. Contact: Krishnabai
Forum for Significant Others of Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. Rhode Island Rape Crisis Center 300 Richmond St., Suite 205. Providence, RI 02903 (401) 421-4100.
Full Circle Books, 2205 Silver SE, Albuquerque, NM 87106 (505) 266-0022. Bookstore with over 500 books related to sexual abuse, adult survivor issues, and healing. Catalog is $1.
Hajer, Marilyn (LICSW) and Carolyn Bonier (LICSW). 28 Manchester Rd. Brookline, MA 02146 (617) 277-9470 and (508) 475-2182. Do workshops for partners of survivors.
Hazelden Educational Materials. 15251 Pleasant Valley Rd. P.O. Box 176, Center City, MN 55012-0176. (800) 328-9000, or (612) 257-4010. Has vast amount of publications for various types of people in "recovery".
Hidden Spring Book Company, P.O. Box 30624, Seattle, WA 98103 (206) 783-8033. Resource for hard-to-find books relating to sexual abuse and recovery issues.
Incest Resources, 46 Pleasant St. Cambridge, MA 02139 (617) 492-1818
Incest Survivors Resources Network, International (ISRNI). Founded 1983. Quaker-affiliated educational resource dedicated to primary prevention. Offers awareness of post-traumatic stress disorder as component of intergenerational transmission of verbal and physical violence, especially regarding overt and emotional incest. Operated by incest survivors from a variety of professions. Write: P.O. Box 911, Hicksville, NY 11802. (516) 935-3031.
Lew, Mike. The Next Step (counselling & training) center. Newton Centre, MA (617) 965-1717.
M.A.L.E. (Men Assisting, Leading, and Educating). P.O. Box 380181. Denver, CO 80238. (303) 320-4365. Organization for non-offending male survivors of child sexual abuse. Seminars, workshops, information and referral services, intervention, and outreach programs. Newsletter Men's Issues Forum, $25/yr.
Mass. Clearinghouse of Mutual Help Groups. Mass Cooperative Extension, 113 Skinner Hall, Univ. of Mass, Amherst, MA 01003. Warren Shumacher, Director. (413) 545-2313.
Monarch Resources, P.O. Box 1293, Torrance, CA 90505 (310) 373-1958. An information clearinghouse for 4 groups of people (survivors, ritual abuse, MPD's, and partners of survivors).
National Self-Help Clearinghouse, Graduate School, City University of NY, 33 West 42nd Street, Room 1222, New York, NY 10036. (212) 840-1259. Has listings of self-help groups nationwide.
P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E. RFD #3, Box 505 Augusta, ME 04330 (207) 547-3532. Does workshops for partners of survivors.
Recovery, Inc. (617) 969-0475. Mass. statewide referral service for Self-Help Groups.
S.H.A.R.E. (Support Help and Resources Exchange). Seth E. Cawthra, Publisher/Editor. P.lO. Box 88722. Tukwila, WA 98138-2722.
Sidran Foundation. 2328 W. Joppa Rd, Suite 15. Lutherville, MD 21093. Source for many books on MPD.
Southwest CARE. (Charles E. Harris, M.Div., CSW-ACP). 6200 N.Central Expressway, Suite 209, Dallas, TX 75206 (214) 373-6607. Has an excellent brochure, When the Silence is Broken. for partners
VOICES in Action, P.O. Box 148309, Chicago, IL 60614 (312) 327-1500. International organization for survivors and partners (pro-survivors).
Westerlund, Elaine. Starting from Scratch: The Incest Resources Group Model. (Write: Incest Resources...see above). A guidebook for starting self-help groups. Written for survivors, could be adapted for partners.
That's it.... that and the plethora of clinical articles in professional literature that are out there. Another good book is Resolving Sexual Abuse by Yvonne Dolan. Meant for social workers, but written in down to earth language and has section on partner issues.
Take care and hope the resources are helpful,
Resource list originally developed by Miss Kerry Cater, MSW.
Many additional resources added from personal lists compiled by Rob T.
Currently updated by "Woody". Please e-mail additional resources for inclusion in the list to Woody <barnicle@email.com> .